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There was precedent for this: after You Only Live Twice and its (for the time) huger than huge spectacle, the producers suddenly retrenched, dumped most of the gadgets, and brought Bond back down to earth with On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. Coincidence? Or did Cubby Broccoli and crew realize that, despite the continued praise and money, they had taken Bond a little too far each time, and it was time to reel him back? Bond taking part in a gang war between Greek smugglers, even if a diversion from his mission, is a facet of Bond you don’t get often in the movies. And of course, the part everybody hates, “Blofeld.” For legal reasons, they couldn’t actually use a character named “Blofeld,” (more on that next week) and the character popularly known as “Wheelchair Man” doesn’t even get a mention in the credits. Blofeld, they’re just fronts. That all said, marketing will be a bit easier.

Probably no one will die, new technology will be found to replace the old, and in 5 years none of it will have mattered (As Spock said, “Military secrets are the most fleeting of all”). All deposits are instant, and your funds will be available in your Videoslots account in real time. They’d abandoned any real connection with Ian Fleming, and were rewarded handsomely for it. But you do not have to travel all the way to these places if you are itching to play these slot machine games, the power of the world wide web makes games like these available to you through your PC or laptop, all you need is a decent internet connection and you can visit thousands of different online casinos based all over the world. After this burn card, the dealer flips over the next three cards face up on the table. It’s a glorified carnival game where the player takes three balls and rolls them down a track into a spinning wheel.

Watch the tension rise in the room as the wheel spins and the result downed. 3AM-waiting-for-pizza dorm room conversation. Yes, Topol overdoes the pistachios bit. Of course, one can only wish the teaser were a little bit better.. And for people who weren’t thrilled with Moonraker, the reappearance of an old villain in a jokey end to the teaser wasn’t too reassuring. We never learn much about her–was she really a contessa, perhaps a girl who married a minor noble as Tracy Bond had? Especially galling is perhaps the strangest and most cringe-worthy line of dialogue in any Bond movie, as “Blofeld” pleading for his life, tells Bond “I’ll buy you a delicatessen–in stainless steel!!” 27 years later, I am still waiting for someone–anyone–to explain what the hell that even means. Aside: I guess I’d better share with you the best Blofeld theorem ever. It is a trio of the best of the best – the bay window can be costly so make sure that you really want and can afford it.

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